“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
-Brene Brown
About 30 years ago, when I was just beginning to lead workshops for public groups, I was totally terrified to stand up in front of people and dare to teach them, or guide them, or inspire them. One weekend, I was leading a workshop on reclaiming personal power. I had a small group of people who usually supported me in my work, who helped me muster the courage to step up in front of a room. And, in this particular workshop, none of that gr
oup of usual support people were there, and I wasn’t sure how to be brave enough to stand up and lead.
So, I faced a choice. I could be paralyzed, in which case even if the workshop happened, it would not be impactful. Or, I could pretend I had it all together and simply muscle through alone. I was already practiced at those 2 paths!
Instead, I decided to dare to be vulnerable. I told the participants the truth…..that I was always terrified to stand up and lead, that I wasn’t ever sure if in any given moment I was too much, or not enough. That I doubted, most every minute, that I had anything worthwhile to share with them. And, that hopefully, with their help, I would be able to step up fully in my own power.
I asked all the participants in the workshop to support me in my leadership, requesting that each person check in with me over the course of the 3-day workshop and see how I was doing with holding my inner critics at bay. I told them I trusted them to support me in whatever way they could.
Well, what I surprise! Not only was I extremely well supported, but they told me that because of my vulnerability and the specific invitation to support me, they felt more confident to connect with me. All of a sudden I was more of a peer than a leader up on a pedestal. I was accessible. No more Sage on the Stage.
Typically, at the end of a workshop, participants would acknowledge me, often in a somewhat adoring way, but never in a way that I actually felt seen or known. At the end of this particular weekend, instead of the usual adoration of me, they told me that if I could step through my fear and lead, then they could surely step through their fear and do whatever they had been afraid to do. My willingness to tell the truth had actually given them permission to tell the truth about themselves. To stop pretending that they had it all figured out. And to grab ahold of their dreams in spite of their fear.
Who knew that in order for the participants to step up, I had to model stepping up!
The lesson for me was that the key to real connection is vulnerability. To be brave enough to actually tell the truth about how it is for me, and to also claim my courage to lead anyway. And, to go for honest connection, pushing through both pretending and being paralyzed.
Fast forward to today, the day we are launching our online course, Bring on Your Bravery. Am I afraid? Absolutely. Do I worry about failing? Absolutely. Do I still think I should have it all together? Absolutely. Am I deciding to step right through that into my courage? Absolutely.
We are launching this course because we believe that everyone would step up to offer whatever they can to solve the converging crises in our world, if only they felt brave enough to do so. The world needs courageous people right now and we think courage can be taught, encouraged, teased out, and nurtured. Bring on Your Bravery aims to do just that.
So, whether I am completely confident in every step I am taking in this new venture, I am the one willing to step through my fear, into my courage, to bring this work forward.
I hope you will join me to activate your courage for a better world.